“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”― C.G. Jung This is a continuum to my previous post about changes and new beginnings… In this post I focus on how to tune […]
Reggae covers playing in the stereos, setting the perfectly relaxed atmosphere to this ocean view hilltop terrace. I’m on a holiday in Panama and the sun is shining. I’m lying on a comfy mattress, feeling completely relaxed, enjoying the warm breeze whilst watching the sea opening in front of me. The colorful birds are singing in the trees, the jungle is all around me.
I breathe in, I breathe out, feel the fullness of life, right in this moment. The hammocks are swinging slowly, everyone are taking it easy. No need to be anywhere else, no need to go anywhere else. I feel content. Even though I need to start writing my essay soon and deal with work-related issues, I manage to feel content and stress-free, just now. I cross my legs into a lotus pose and straighten my spine with an inhale. Each deep breath lets the ‘prana‘ flow even stronger, immediately making me feel more grounded, peaceful and energetic.
My eyes are looking at some gigantic tropical leaves. They’re moving in the wind, causing the shadows on the leaves look like dark waves… I feel strong, I feel calm, I feel eternal in this little moment. Weird how some moments just take you and you dive in some deep place in your mind, forgetting the existence of time. You just exist, almost in a deep meditative state, observing, being. Suddenly I wake back up to the moment and realise I’ve been staring at the sea. I see myself observing the waves again… They’re all moving to the same direction as the wind calmly directs them. Some occasional boats are passing by, all to the same direction as where the water is flowing. It’s beautiful. (Later the day we went stand up paddling there in the calm waters. We saw pods of flying fish jumping around, glimmering in the sun. Bright orange starfish here and there, the water was full of life underneath us.)
But back to what I was telling:
I went to the seaside the other evening to watch the sunset. I was by myself, just observing the life around me and sensations within me. I didn’t feel like writing, but I felt like saving all the flying thoughts somewhere so I took my phone and recorded them. At first it felt a little bit funny to talk by myself but then I relaxed and got used to it. I was talking for ten minutes, listening to my mind and saying it all out loud. So many times when we try to say something out loud, a barrier comes up and we cannot say it. This was my practice of letting myself have the time to think what I say, to listen what I think and to say it all out loud, taking as much time as needed, having pauses in between sentences, even between words. It was great. I listened the recording afterwards and it made me dive down to the same moment, same time, same head space and same tranquility immediately, all over again. The moment is now saved, just like a photograph. I hear the sound of the waves, I hear the cars passing. I hear the live guitar music in the distance, I hear the wind. I hear my breath. I hear my voice. All of a sudden I’m there again.
“I wish someone could hear these thoughts… All the voices, thoughts, I hear in my head, occupying my mind right now… But then again, what I really want to hear is only the silence, not my voice. —” I stare at the horizon.
“— To hear, you have to have silence. What if all how you experience life is simply because of you. All being a reflection of you, all coming from within you. All that you have outside exists also within you. Everything is just a reflection, the whole world is a reflection of you. How you experience everything… all a reflection. Of you. —” Little pause again.
“— I’m sitting at a beach, sandy ground underneath me. Small pieces of coral, tingling on my skin. My eyes are looking at the horizon. The waves are very calm and very… delicate, sensitive. The sound of the waves is more powerful than what they really are. The sun is setting, the sky is getting darker and darker, with deep colors. The clouds remind more of painter’s work than real clouds… Some people are still swimming, children are playing in the shallow warm waters. Little light bulbs are twinkling in the palm trees in front of a beach bar, the crowd is clapping for the music. —“
“— I feel calm. I encounter everyone with calmness, with balance, because I feel peaceful. When I feel anxious, everything around me makes me more anxious and others overwhelm me. When I feel frustrated, others annoy me. When I feel relaxed, I tend to relax others, too. When I feel happy, I tend to make others happy, too… maybe.—“ I myself am a reflection of the world.
“— Then, when the voice [mine] calms down, it’s suddenly quite enjoyable to listen to it. I’m here now, in this moment. I’m nowhere else, only here, sitting at the beach, by myself, watching Costa Rican coastline and observing the life around me. I wipe the sand off my butt and get up. I start walking.”
“— The surrounding sounds get louder… The waves crashing. The guitar playing, a harmonica, a lady singing. A motorcycle passing by. I’m walking.“
The recording ends and total silence surrounds me again. I just can’t stop thinking how beautiful all that just was. I’m so grateful.
This is what I live for. Connection. Beauty. Prana. Presence… Love. And always staying true to yourself, listening to Tao and rather than paddling against the current, letting the river flow and take you wherever you’re needed at that time. It’ll take you anyway, no matter if you fight against it or not, because that’s the nature of nature. At least according to few Eastern philosophies and me, haha.
I’m just focusing on the magical moments here. We all have our own ones, especially when we stop and open our eyes (and hearts), magical things tend to happen. That is flow, that is life.
Good day, night, morning, evening, which ever, wherever you are! I wish you all a great flow and magical moments.
“Chance to breathe again, a chance for a fresh start…”
These Waters by Ben Howard
I’m facing another big change in my life soon, as I’ll be moving out to a whole another part of the world, to the pristine beaches and wild, dark green jungles of Central America… Many people say I need courage, many that I need money or that I am lucky to be able to travel there. But the truth is my friends that I don’t see myself more couragious than anyone else, nor more rich or lucky, at least from a Westener’s point of view. I only see a chance, a possibility, a dream, and even if it sounds crazy I know that it is what I want. And then, when you know what you want, you make the decision. Just buy the ticket and go. Simple. Right?
We are living in a world of having to choose what you do, who you are, and then stick with it. Unfortunately, the choices can also act as chains, taking our freedom instead of giving us the opportunity to seek for our own individual freedom. We are pushed to choose a box to live in. Education. Career. Mortgage. We are lucky because we have the opportunity to choose – but in the end we choose to choose so little. One education, one career, one title, one country, one home. After a while working or living at a place you start feeling comfort. You’ve got important role at work, and even if your job makes you stressed and unhappy you still stay there. Comfort over happiness. Chains over freedom.
Comfort makes us feel like we’re in a bubble and everything outside is scary and dangerous. But it’s comfortable, so we stay there. How many of us really give ourselves the opportunities to try again, a chance for a fresh start?
There ain’t no reason things are this way
It’s how they’ve always been and they intend to stay
I can’t explain why we live this way
We do it every day
Ain’t No Reason by Brett Dennen
So, how do I even know what I want? If I feel just a little bit unease but not much, or at least not enough to make the change. Or if I’m happy, do I still need to do something? I think it’s all about listening to yourself. Seeing the big picture and then the small pictures within the big picture.
What is that I’ve always wanted to do, is this what I’m doing the same thing? And then, this is my favorite question, what do you really like doing? How would you love to spend your time? And that’s where it all begins. Imagine this; What if you could do whatever you’ve always wanted to do, break the old habits, make everyday life feel like you’re actually living it. Cos the time will pass, as it has already passed so fast. Life is short. How do you want to spend your time?
All of this well be gone someday…
Afterglow, Jose Gonzales
We all want to be happy, enjoy life more, but for so many times I’ve heard “I don’t have any other choices”. What if we’d decide to face the fact that there is always a choice? Fuck it, travel to France! Move to Bali! Start a business! Or whatever else it may be. Decide something and then pursue it. At least try.
In the end, it’s about believing in yourself and seeing your full potential, and most importantly, caring about yourself and listening to what you really want.
All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love.
I, myself, decide to choose it all.
I have no idea where I’ll end up, but I know what I like, and that is what I’ll follow. I like mountains. I like kayaking. I like roaming in the wilderness. I love adventure, wellness, yoga, eastern philosophies, mindfulness, retreat life. I love travelling. Nightly bonfires on the beach, someone playing acoustic guitar and people feeling alive under the sky full of stars. Meeting amazing people, feeling the connection. Living in the now. So I move to Costa Rica! Completely random and if you would’ve told me this a year ago, I would’ve not believed it. But it’s happening! I saw the opportunity and I grabbed it.
Peace, love & mindful moments,